Note: episode transcripts are radio scripts - please keep that in mind as you come across notations and errors in the text.
A lot of stories have been told about Sharon Johnson. My favorites are the ones told by her friends.
Connie Howard met Sharon in 1977. Probably, Connie says, in the laundry room of their apartment building in Manchester, New Hampshire.
Connie was 17 and living on her own with a newborn baby. Sharon was 25, another young single mom.
[Connie Howard] I think I thought I could maybe learn a lot from her. She was just really smart – and had her act together. You know, she had a good job, she had a nice apartment, and seemed to be climbing the ladder.
[mux in]
Sharon was an engineer at a computer manufacturing company. Connie says back then, in the late 70s, she’d never met a woman who was an engineer. Sharon had her own car, was saving to buy her own house. To Connie, Sharon just seemed confident, in control of her own life.
[Connie Howard] Made you think that you could do it. You know, a 17-year-old girl with a baby, I didn’t have any direction, so it really was a good thing to see another woman like that.
The two of them hit it off. Connie felt herself nestling in under Sharon’s wing.
[mux post]
Connie needed a driver’s license. So Sharon let her borrow her car to take the test. Connie needed a job. So Sharon got her one at the computer company. Connie felt aimless in life. So Sharon gave her a shove.
[Connie Howard] She said, “If you don’t have a career, you’ll amount to nothing, so you need to do something.” // It was blunt. // At first, I was kind of hurt by it, but then it motivated me.
[mux out]
Connie went to school and became a hair stylist. Made a long career of it.
[Connie Howard] So I think I did her hair even before I had a license. I think (laughs) we kind of, maybe had a bottle of wine, and I cut her hair. Yeah. // But I think about her a lot. I’ve thought about her a lot over the last 30 years.
[Lucy Holt] The absolute laughter that we had when I was learning the computer. I was terrified of that thing!
Lucy Holt was another friend of Sharon’s.
[Lucy Holt] She would call me up, twice-to-three-times a week, and we would go over another aspect of using the computer. She showed me where to go to play solitaire // and I said, “Oh my gosh it’s in color!” (laughs) // And so I called her the next day and said, “Sharon, guess what? I set up the printer all by myself!” We were just rolling on the floor, laughing so hard.
Lucy, like Connie, viewed Sharon with a mix of admiration and fascination. Sharon could do things that just seemed out of reach to Lucy.
[Lucy Holt] I thought she was funny. I thought she was brash. She was one of the guys. // She could tell a raunchy joke. She could just relax with the guys, and they accepted her like that. // She was more… and I can’t say masculine, because she wasn’t. It’s just different than what everybody had been brought up to be at the time. // And I was… I was such a… I could hide in plain sight. Did my entire life – I hid in plain sight, so somebody that open was extraordinary. // I wish I had known her better. I wish I had known her longer. Yeah…
[mux in]
In 1988, Sharon Johnson was pregnant with her second child. Her friends were planning a baby shower. Then one day in July, Sharon didn’t come home from work.
The next morning, Sharon’s body was found in a wooded, rural construction site in Bedford, New Hampshire. She’d been stabbed and strangled.
[Connie Howard] When I heard the news, it was devastating. I had nightmares. I couldn’t sleep. It was horrible. // And then I think about the horror that she must have been going through at the time. When that is being done to you… // I can’t imagine what was going through her… her mind.
For the people close to Sharon, it was the beginning of an excruciating time. Over the next few years, as police investigated and news stories were written, and court hearings were held, they learned what happened: Sharon had been killed by her own husband, with the help of two teenagers.
[Connie Howard] I always think about how happy she was and how tragic that that happened at the happiest time of her life.
Connie and Lucy grieved. For years, then for decades. It’s now been 35 years. Sharon’s friends each figured out, in their own way, how to come to terms with the fact of her death. With the story of how she was killed.
[mux post]
And now – people are telling them they’re wrong. They don’t know how their friend died.
[mux in]
Only one of the three men charged with Sharon’s murder is still alive. Jason Carroll. At 19 years old, he confessed to the crime. But for the three decades since, he’s maintained his innocence from inside prison.
And now, Jason has a new team of lawyers and advocates, and his case is back in court.
For people close to Sharon, it’s a hard thing to swallow. For some, it’s offensive. For some, it’s confusing. I think for all of them it feels like a violation. This is their story. Who are these strangers to rewrite the history of a person they loved?
Lucy Holt is wrestling with all of that – and also wrestling with the part of her that’s open to another version of this story. A version where Jason Carroll was not involved.
[mux out]
[Lucy Holt] I don’t want him to be guilty. // If he says, “I really didn’t do it…” I mean… We all expect proof for things. You know, we expect proof. How do you prove something… how do you prove an “I didn’t do it?” And then, of course, we hear that everyone in prison is innocent. Everyone says, “I didn’t do it… I didn’t do it.” So he really has an uphill fight.
// I hope he understands that it’s not just for himself. // We have been under the understanding that the person who did it was in prison. And we didn’t have to think about it anymore. But if he didn’t… you know, we have to share that guilt… that the wrong person is there. And we can’t be satisfied anymore. // We can’t be satisfied with the endings.
[Jason Moon] So the stakes are high for you, too.
[Lucy Holt] Yes, they are. It’s our guilt. And it has been right along, we just didn’t know it. We were satisfied – some very happy. Some like, “Yes, we got him!” But what if we didn’t?
As for Connie Howard, she’s pretty blunt about how she feels.
[Connie Howard] They think none of that ever happened?
[Jason Moon] Yeah.
[Connie Howard] Hmm…
[Jason Moon] How does that make you feel?
[Connie Howard] Disgusted.
Connie aims that disgust right at Jason Carroll.
[Connie Howard] What are you gonna – nothing ever happened? What happened? She just died? // I think it’s wrong. // ‘Cause it did happen. And you were involved. //
[Jason Moon] Why do you believe in that version of the story?
[Connie Howard] I don’t know why I believe that. As opposed to…what? As opposed to… Who came up with that version of the story? You know what I mean, then how do we – who said that, that that’s how it happened? Somebody had to say that that’s how it happened, so, obviously, it happened.
[theme mux start]
In the late 1980s, police and prosecutors told a true crime story about what happened to Sharon Johnson.
[unidentified voice] We got there, she struggled. Jason drove the knife in her back.
For 35 years, that story has profoundly shaped the lives of many people – from Jason Carroll, to Sharon’s friends and family, to the people who worked on this case.
[unidentified voice] There are going to be continued and repeated attacks // that the police coerced, intimidated, promised, threatened…
[unidentified voice] Psychologically, I think they ripped him to shreds. // It was just sending a shark out on a bloody piece of bait.
[mux post]
What happens when the official story is challenged after all these years? When alternate versions are told by new storytellers?
[unidentified voice] I just hope there's less complete and utter trust in the system after this series.
[unidentified voice] Jason Carroll is where he belongs, where deserves to be, and he needs to stay there. // He took away my mother’s life – my life!
[unidentified voice] This story has been told about Jason for 33 years and he cannot escape it. // It’s just a story! It’s just a story.
This is Bear Brook Season 2: A True Crime Story. I’m Jason Moon.
[theme mux up & out]
…
[fade up ambient sound, courtroom]
Last November, Jason Carroll was appearing in court for the first time in three decades. I was there, sitting in the back of the courtroom.
For over a year-and-a-half, I’d been poring over thousands and thousands of documents in Jason’s case and interviewing many of the people involved – the ones who are still alive. I’d gotten used to thinking of the case as something that had already happened, a story from the ‘80s that I knew all the endings to.
But today… was uncharted. Something new was about to happen in Jason’s case.
[ambient sound, courtroom]
The courtroom was full. Jason’s family and friends. Sharon’s family and friends. It was a kind of tense reunion. Many of them were just kids the last time Jason was before a judge.
Before the hearing, the court staff did their best to make sure the two sides didn’t bump into each other in the hallways. But now they’re sitting in the same, small modern-looking courtroom, divided only by the center aisle.
[Bailiff] All rise for the honorable court.
//
[William Delker] Good morning, this is the matter of State of New Hampshire vs. Jason Carroll. This is a hearing… (fade under)
We’re all here because Jason has applied for early release from prison. You can do that in New Hampshire after you’ve served at least two-thirds of your sentence.
The judge who will decide is William Delker. He’s soft-spoken, wears glasses and a bowtie. You could mistake him for, say, a prep-school debate coach. But in reality he’s a former prosecutor, who handled some of the most serious homicides in recent New Hampshire history – including the case involving the state’s only death-row inmate.
[William Delker] So why don’t I have both sides introduce themselves for the record, please.
[Charles Bucca] Good morning, your honor. Charles Bucca, appearing on behalf of the state.
[Cynthia Mousseau] Cynthia Mousseau, your honor, on behalf of Jason Carroll who appears to my left.
Jason is dressed in a forest green prison jumpsuit. One arm is in a sling from a recent surgery; the other arm is handcuffed to a leather strap around his waist. His bald head reflects the fluorescent lighting.
Jason’s lawyer, Cynthia Mousseau, is with the New England Innocence Project. Cynthia is a former public defender. And she’s no stranger to this courtroom. Half the bailiffs and clerks seem to recognize her. Her hair is dyed with deep red streaks. One side of her head is buzzed.
Cynthia is the first to speak.
[Cynthia Mousseau] This is an extraordinary hearing, for the court to consider whether an extraordinary person, who was involved in an extraordinary case, should be given extraordinary relief.
It only takes her a few minutes to tell the court: Jason was wrongfully convicted. And the state is not telling the whole story.
[Cynthia Mousseau] …However, this narrative that the state has woven is inaccurate and incomplete.
Cynthia says this is a clear case of a coerced, false confession.
[Cynthia Mousseau] I could point out how Jason’s statements were so inconsistent with the undisputed forensic evidence in this case, that it was more probable that he was guessing in response to interrogation questions, than he had any actual knowledge. In fact, looking at these inconsistencies, it is shocking that Jason was ever even a credible suspect, let alone convicted.
But, Cynthia says, today is not about Jason’s guilt or innocence. It’s about whether he’s ready and whether it’s safe to re-integrate him into society.
Jason has a series of witnesses here who say, yes. One of them is a corrections officer, Joseph Laramie, who supervised Jason for over 20 years in the prison.
[Joseph Laramie] It was during my time in the North Unit that I began to notice that Jason has become a leader and a mentor. Not the type that preaches to people, but the type that leads by example, through his actions. // One of my duties in the visiting room was purchasing toys. // And Jason would put all the toys together. Groaning and grumbling the whole time he was doing it because he didn’t want to be putting together doll houses, but I could tell he liked it, he enjoyed it, because he knew the kids were going to enjoy it.
Another witness for Jason is a man who was incarcerated with him for 13 years, Joseph Lascaze. He’s now a respected advocate with the ACLU of New Hampshire. Joseph says Jason was a mentor to him, who left him with a powerful message the night before Joseph left prison.
[Joseph Lascaze] He said “I want you to promise me that you will never come back here. I want you to promise me that you will spend as much time with your family as you can because they’re the most important thing. And I want you to promise me that you’re going to go out there and make a difference with who you’ve become.”
As he says this, he motions to the pews on Jason’s side of the room, where a few young men that Joseph mentored are sitting.
[Joseph Lascaze] Jay, I’m doing that. I promise you I’m doing everything that you asked me to do. This is proof that it’s working.
[mux in]
When Joseph finishes his statement, the prosecutor for the state, Charles Bucca, cross-examines him. Charles wears black-framed glasses, his dark hair just graying at the edges. And he uses the moment to make a point that he’ll make again and again during this hearing.
[Charles Bucca] Based on what you’ve told us here today, you were convicted of some criminal offenses?
[Joseph Lascaze] Correct.
[Charles Bucca] And you did your time?
[Joseph Lascaze] I did.
[Charles Bucca] And you took responsibility for your actions.
[Joseph Lascaze] I did.
[Charles Bucca] And in fact, you even actually just told us you apologized to one of the victims of your criminal offenses.
[Joseph Lascaze] Correct.
[Charles Bucca] And that was helpful to you in taking responsibility, right?
[Joseph Lascaze] Yes, that came from the counsel of Jason.
[Charles Bucca] And that was helpful for you to move on with your life and become the man you’ve become today.
[Joseph Lascaze] That is correct.
[Charles Bucca] And be successful reintegrating into society. Is that correct?
[Joseph Lascaze] That is correct.
[Charles Bucca] And do you think that it would be detrimental for someone who’s trying to reintegrate into society to not accept responsibility for their criminal conduct?
[Cynthia Mousseau] I would object to that, judge. He can speak to his personal experience, which he’s done… (fade out)
Jason Carroll will not accept responsibility for the crime.
In the face of that fact, Charles the prosecutor – and some in Sharon’s family – say Jason’s achievements in prison ring hollow.
Thomas Eaton is Sharon’s nephew.
[Thomas Eaton] I’ve heard all day how good somebody’s doing in jail and how good they’re helping others. And I can appreciate that. That’s great. But that whole time all that’s been going on, there are two people that are no longer with us. There’s a woman, a young woman, with all the promise in the world, that never had a chance to display any of that. // I was raised to have accountability and responsibility. I have not been perfect in my life, but I certainly would not do this to someone. And if someone does this to somebody, they should take some accountability and responsibility. Thank you.
[mux post]
After both sides have had their say, Judge Delker calls a recess. He says he’ll come back in a few minutes with his decision. He’s going to decide Jason’s fate right then and there.
[mux fade out]
I was shocked by this. I think everyone was. The attorneys had written motions that were hundreds of pages, there was more than two-and-a-half hours of testimony. It wouldn’t be unusual to wait weeks or longer for a decision on something like this.
Instead, we waited just 15 nervous minutes.
Finally, the bailiff tells us to rise. Judge Delker comes back to his seat. He tells Jason to remain standing to receive his ruling.
[Judge Delker] This is to this date one of the most notorious crimes in recent New Hampshire history. You confessed to your participation in this murder-for-hire plot and you and your accomplice, Mr. Pfaff, kidnapped and murdered a seven-and-a-half-month pregnant woman and you stood by while your accomplice sexually assaulted her as she lay dying – dead or dying there in that gravel pit. And you were paid $5,000 for those inhuman acts – and I don’t say inhumane, but inhuman acts – by the victim’s own husband.
[mux in]
[Judge Delker] Your failure to accept responsibility and to cooperate when you had the opportunity to do so meant that your co-conspirators have escaped justice for this brutal, brutal murder that has taken Sharon Johnson from her family and her loved ones. // To cut you a break // would utterly undermine the public’s confidence in the criminal justice system.
[mux post]
Jason Carroll’s petition for early release is denied. Judge Delker orders him back to prison. The hearing is over.
Sharon’s half of the room lets out a sigh of relief and silent celebration.
Just outside the courtroom, Sharon’s daughter Melonie Eaton speaks tearfully to local reporters. Her cousin stands by her, his arm wrapped protectively around Melonie’s shoulder.
Melonie says in the run-up to the hearing, too much attention had been paid to Jason and his innocence claims. She feels like her mother had been forgotten.
[Melonie Eaton] People need to see the other side of the story. They need to understand, she was a good person – more than anybody will understand. And she deserved to be here, but, unfortunately, she’s not.
Meanwhile, Jason’s side of the room is also in tears. Most of them leave quickly and silently after the ruling comes down. When I try to talk to Jason’s lawyer, Cynthia, she tells me, “Not today.”
Later though, we did talk on the phone.
[Cynthia Mousseau] Jason has never been believed in court. Ever. Ever. Not once.
Cynthia was heartbroken. And angry. Cynthia says the ruling was punishment for Jason maintaining his innocence. She says he could’ve lied and shown remorse and he may well have been let out.
[Cynthia Mousseau] People perceive that everyone in prison says that they’re innocent. Which is not true. And also that it’s this, like, thing that selfish people do. Jason just lost this hearing because he maintains his innocence.
As an innocence lawyer, Cynthia is used to people not believing her clients. But it still stings – the utter confidence many judges, prosecutors, or just people in general have in criminal convictions. For Cynthia, the odds can feel insurmountable. Even metaphysical.
[Cynthia Mousseau] Convictions take on this mythical power. // I was raised Catholic, and although I’m not now, I will reference a Catholic… (laughs). There’s this belief that when you’re Catholic and the priest gives you communion that the bread turns into the body of Jesus, like literal human flesh. This is essentially the same thing as what happens – once this conviction happens, it’s like that story is what happened.
[mux in]
Is the state of New Hampshire’s story, the one Judge Delker just re-told, the one that led to Jason Carroll’s conviction… is that what really happened to Sharon Johnson? Or is it just an illusion?
To find out, we have to go back to the beginning.
That’s after the break.
[mux post & fade]
************************MIDROLL***************************
I’ll never forget the first time I heard the tape.
I’d read the transcripts, but they didn’t hold a candle to actually hearing the words.
The tape is a partial recording of a police interrogation of Jason Carroll in 1989.
I’ve spent the last year-and-a-half studying it, wondering about it, thinking – even dreaming about it.
The tape is memorable partly because of its intensity. Two of the detectives who were there called it one of the most emotional interrogations they’d ever seen.
But here’s the biggest reason I’m fascinated by it:
For over 30 years, Jason Carroll has been locked in a prison because of the power of the words on this tape. And only the power of words on tape. There is no other evidence that ties him to the murder of Sharon Johnson.
So the question of whether you believe what he’s saying in the tape, becomes everything.
Jason is held in a state prison in Concord, New Hampshire that’s about 5 minutes from where I live. Whenever I drive by the prison, I wonder: is every passing day that Jason wakes up inside there adding to the weight of a staggering injustice? Or is Jason simply guilty?
Sometimes I think, if I just listen hard enough to the tape – I’ll be able to tell.
(fade in tape hiss)
[Officer 1] I’ve told you before, when you tell the truth, you have to want to tell the truth.
[Jason Carroll] I want so much to get this over with.
[Officer 1] But you’re not doing it
[Jason Carroll] It’s not that easy.
(fade under)
The audio quality of the tape isn’t great. So I’ll repeat some parts of it as we go. The tape has also been partially redacted. Sometimes people’s names are bleeped out.
In the tape, you can hear Jason being interrogated by four officers. They’re at the police station in Bedford. The town where Sharon Johnson’s body was discovered.
The day before, police interrogated Jason for five hours. By this point in the tape, they’ve been at it for another three hours.
(fade in)
[Officer 2] Jason, if you had the friggin knife in your hand and you stabbed her, tell ‘em!
[Officer 1] Yeah, he’s hiding something.
[Officer 2] If you got back with Tony and you guys moved the car later on that night, tell ‘em!
(fade under)
Over the many hours of interrogations, Jason has gone from denying any involvement, to now saying he witnessed Sharon Johnson’s murder.
But the police still believe Jason is holding something back. They’re frustrated – they don’t understand why Jason won’t just spit it out.
One of the detectives launches into a monologue.
[Officer 1] What is it going to take?
(fade under)
The detective asks:
What is it going to take? On tape – now listen to me clearly. One day in the future, this tape, which can never be destroyed or altered, will be played before a jury of people that will have, on tape, listen to me clearly, that will have understood the horror of the type of killing that Sharon Johnson was subjected to.
(fading up)
[Officer 1] …the horror of the type of killing that Sharon Johnson was subjected to…
(fading down)
They will hear a voice that we will identify as Jason Carroll. A person that we are looking to to help us bring forth those people…
Jason jumps in and finishes the detective’s sentence. He says:
…Who did it.
Then the detective goes on:
Who actually did this entire, uh, ugly, unforgivable, horrendous act. And they will have to conclude if Jason Carroll has the decency (crossfade into tape) to express any remorse and that expression must come forth by a willingness to be truthful.
[mux in]
Why, in god’s name, would you tell us this much and still leave out the truth. The essence of the truth. I have not seen the breaking point in you!
I have not seen the breaking point in you, the detective shouts.
[mux post]
[Officer 2] If you put a knife – if you put a knife in that woman, I want to know. You stabbed her, didn’t you?!
[Jason Carroll] Yes I did, BLEEP.
[Officer 2] How many times did you stab her?!
[Jason Carroll] I stabbed her three times.
[Officer 2] Alright!
(Jason cries)
[Officer 1] Who else stabbed her? Who else? Who else stabbed her, truthfully?
[Jason Carroll] Johnson! Johnson and Pfaff stabbed her…
(tape fades out)
[mux out]
…
If you had to pick one moment that started all of this, that was it. Depending on what you believe, this was the moment the truth was wrenched free. Or the moment a lie that refuses to die was born.
For the rest of this series, we’re going to unpack that moment. And believe me, there is so much to unpack.
Including one thing I haven’t told you yet.
One of the cops you heard interrogating Jason Carroll… was his mom.
[Karen Carroll] We want the truth out of you. // Do you think that I’m going to love you any less?
[Jason Carroll] I don’t know! // I don’t know.
[mux in]
People who tell true crime stories (people like me) do this kind of stuff all the time. We save a surprising detail for when we need to make sure you stay interested. It can make for better storytelling. It can be manipulative.
In this case, I did it – and I’m telling you I did it – as a demonstration. Because journalists are not the only people who tell true crime stories.
Detectives, lawyers, witnesses, suspects – they all tell stories about what happened in a given case. And like every storyteller, they make choices about what to put in and what to leave out. What to emphasize – and what to ignore.
And sometimes, those choices… can change everything.
[mux up & out]
…
How did Officer Karen Carroll end up extracting a murder confession from her own son?
In Karen’s version of the story – it’s a lot more complicated than just what you hear in the tape.
[Karen Carroll] Ugh. It’s been a nightmare. // A total nightmare.
Karen told me, I needed to understand that she was caught between two roles.
[Karen Carroll] I was not only a police officer, but I was a mother, you know? And mothers will do whatever they have to do to try to protect their kids.
Karen became a police officer in 1984, a few years before Sharon Johnson’s murder. Karen was a patrol officer in Bedford. Back then, it was a mostly rural town in southern New Hampshire.
[Karen Carroll] I enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was different. I am not one that can sit behind a desk at a computer. That’s not for me.
Her husband, Jack Carroll was in the national guard. A Vietnam vet. Together, they were raising four kids. Jason was the oldest, Karen’s son from a previous relationship.
Then, in July of 1988, Karen’s job at the police station got really interesting. The biggest case the town had ever seen. The murder of Sharon Johnson. The first homicide in Bedford in at least 20 years, maybe more.
Karen had a front row seat. The gossip around the station, the flood of tips coming in, the reporters descending on the town.
These were dramatic times in Bedford – even if it didn’t have all that much to do with Karen. She was a patrol officer, not a detective. So she didn’t have a part to play…
[mux in]
…until she met the detective in charge of solving the case – that other voice you heard on the tape. A man named Roland Lamy.
[Roland Lamy] …the truth, the essence of the truth. I have not seen a breaking point in you.
[Karen Carroll] Sergeant Lamy, // I wanted to trust him. I wanted to trust him. //
[Jason Moon] What do you think of Lamy now?
[Karen Carroll] (laughs) I can’t say what I think of him. (pause) // He’s just a bald-headed, big feeling motherfucker.
That’s next time, on Bear Brook, Season 2: A True Crime Story.
[mux up & out]
A True Crime Story is reported and produced by me, Jason Moon.
It’s edited by Katie Colaneri.
Additional reporting and research by Paul Cuno-Booth.
Editing help from Lauren Chooljian, Daniela Allee, Sara Plourde, Taylor Quimby, Mara Hoplamazian, Jeongyoon Han, and Todd Bookman.
Our News Director is Dan Barrick. Our Director of Podcasts is Rebecca Lavoie.
Fact-checking by Dania Suleman.
Sara Plourde created our original artwork, as well as our website, bearbrookpodcast.com, where you can see pictures of Sharon Johnson and other materials from the case.
Additional photography and video by Gaby Lozada.
Original music for the series was created by me, Jason Moon.
Bear Brook is a production of the Document team at New Hampshire Public Radio.